You Can Quote Me
by someonestolemyname
Summary: Because, no matter what you may think, Sasuke and Sakura actually have a very romantical relationship. Ask the lovequotes /SasuSaku. cracky oneshot collection/ chapter ten: the end and not tonight
1. love is pain

When Sasuke had returned home that evening, his wife had been the picture of understanding. With practiced hands she healed the minor injuries he had sustained and, in a smooth and comforting voice, suggested that they go get ramen for dinner. The poor man was exhausted - going on nearly 24 hours without sleep - but there was no way she would subject his body to the dreadful task of gulping down whatever she could possibly attempt to make.

And so here Sakura was, sitting quietly in her stool as she watched her husband eat. Outwardly, she looked calm and concerned. On the inside…

_The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them._

_-Anonymous_

_**Mockery #1**_

Really, it wasn't fair.

Everything was against her. Honest.

First off, he was _Uchiha Sasuke_ and he was _divine. _Perfect, beautiful, amazing, and –above all – Sex God extraordinaire. And even though he looked half-dead, eyelids fluttering as he raised his chopsticks to his mouth, he was still bloody fabulous in a completely sexy, vampire, undead, emo-king way.

Sakura's hand twitched.

Secondly, he was her _husband_. Sure, fangirls could fantasize about jumping his bones. Most of them did. But none of them had a snowball's chance in Hell of ever actually managing anything other than a glare from the infamous avenger. She, on the other hand…

Sakura had to look away from him, instead focusing on the counter in front of her, willing her heart to calm.

The third and finally – the most sane and logical and real reason – was that, dammit all, she was _pregnant. _Really now, she knew these things. She was an (amazing) medic, wasn't she? It was 100 natural, normal, and healthy that in her third month she feel… _amorous. _Hormones were crucial to the healthy development of her baby. She should be _listening to them. _

It wasn't _fair._

He'd been gone three days. Three whole long, torturous, agonizing, long days. And now he was back. A fat load of help it did her.

Because he was exhausted and barely managing to stay awake long enough to eat his first meal in a day, and there was _no way _she was going to be so cruel as to keep him up (and active) any long than completely necessary.

_But this is necessary!"_ screamed her inner, wildly hormonal and extremely pregnant self. "_He's been gone three days! THREE DAYS! We deserve some –"_

With a scowl, Sakura forced the thoughts from her mind. She was a loving, caring, and not sex-crazed woman. So there.

But she really did want to drag Sasuke home and have her wicked way with him. She wanted to _a lot._ Her hand twitched again, and she fidgeted nervously. Sasuke turned and looked her, black eyes smoldering even through the haze of sleep-deprivation. Sakura moaned and sat on her hands.

Her inner self was throwing a pregnant piss-fit.

**[AN: That was icky of me XP. But, maybe, funny? Possibly? You should tell me. In a review. Or, if that doesn't sound good, you should suggest another perfectly decent quote for me to defile. In a review. Kk?**


	2. when you love something

It hadn't been quite willing; in fact, she had been as _unwilling_ as it was possible for a person to be. Only the quiet whisper of him dashing through the night to appear behind her, the forced harshness of his unintelligible words, and the exact pressure of his fingers against the base of her skull could have forced her to let him leave.

But, after that, as the years turned over and the questioning stares lessoned, she had let him go. In her mind, and in her heart, he was free. Well, perhaps not quite, but, you know. Kinda. All that was left for her was to wait.

_-_

_If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with._

_-Anonymous_

_-_

**Mockery #2 – He's Mine**

_-_

Sakura stood at Ino's side gaping – along with half the village – at the two people that had just stumbled through the village gates.

Both were male, and tall, but that was were the similarities ended. While the one now smiling and waving at her as if he owned the world was blond-haired and blue-eyed, the other was like a picture done in black and white, leaning heavily on color to help him stay steady. She turned to the girl beside her –

"Ino.."

-and felt her heart-rate skyrocket.

Ino looked back at her, an odd expression set firmly on her pretty face.

"Naruto brought him back Sakura. He's back."

Sakura nodded dumbly, eyes once again finding the twosome struggling towards her, Naruto's constant shouts of joy splitting the air. One shaky hand rose and waved unsteadily. A million different thoughts coursed through her mind as she repeated in a shaky whisper, "He's back."

And with that, she was running.

First, she tackled Naruto, arms of such incredible strength squeezing him for all she was worth. The action said what her clenched throat would not.

_Thank you, thank you, thankyouthankyou._

Then, after she had released the laughing boy that was, without a doubt, the best teammate (maybe even friend) in the world, she turned to _him._

"Sasuke."

"Hn," he replied, looking at her through blackened eyes.

Here it came. This was it. Fate would now give her the answer…

"Did you come back… willingly?"

The second hung for perhaps a million years. Around them plants must have been withering and re-growing, Naruto aging to dust, a million different battles being fought, and then –

"Yes."

- time stopped. Froze. Butterflies' wings stopped beating midair, sakura blossom were trapped in their downward spiral to earth, everything –

"YES!"

She was hugging him so tightly she was sure she would hear a rib pop any second now. To bad she didn't give a damn. Her heart was souring, her soul about to fly from her body in utter joy.

"I knew it!"

He was tight beneath her arms, seemingly shocked beyond ability to move. Or perhaps she was just aggravating his considerable injuries. No matter, she would heal them soon. What did matter was that, after a small time, his arms came awkwardly to pat her back and then fall around her. He was hugging her back.

She couldn't help it. Inner Sakura was becoming undeniably strong.

"You're MINE!"

**[AN: I like this one better, methinks. Now, more importantly, do you?**


	3. of socks

**[So. I'm not quite sure if this is a real quote or not, seeing as I couldn't find it online. But, no matter :) We shall still, perhaps not mock it (it's self-mocking), but most assuredly have fun with it! Thanks for the quote (and the will to write, curz it was the first review I EVER GOT!) **_**EternalxBlackness.**_

--

--

"Put them on."

"No. I'm not wearing the stupid socks, Sasuke-kun."

"Do. It. Now."

"No. Way."

"…"

"I still won't do it – quit the glare."

"…"

"I'm _not_ going to get sick."

"…"

"You know what? Fine. You win. Putting them on, see? And don't you dare smirk at me."

--

_"I have come to an age where if someone tells me to wear socks, I no longer have to."_

_-Someone, we're thinking Einstein, but I have no proof_

_(stupid google)_

--

**Mockery #3 – Toasty Warm**

--

Sasuke's smirk was killing her.

He was sitting there, right across from her, holding his instant ramen and _smirking at her._ Because she was sick, as he had known she would be, and he found that _amusing._ With a sniffle, Sakura tightened her hold on her blanket and wiped furiously at her traitorous, red, stuffy nose.

And the bastard just kept on smirking.

In return, she glared at him with such ferocity that Naruto quietly slunk off to get more wood for the fire. Idiotic as he sometimes was, he didn't want to be around when his pink-haired teammate exploded.

And, when Sasuke quietly, calmly, and with a blank expression asked if she was feeling ok, explode she did.

"NO I'M NOT!"

His smirk widened as she leapt to her (bare) feet and quickly sat back down to pull them under the warm confines of her blanket. Apparently, the fall day _was_ chilly, and she _should_ have worn socks. She should have learned by now; Uchiha Sasuke was _always_ right.

"ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME!?!"

Her voice broke through his reverie, wailing like a crazed harpy. When he merely grunted in reply, she grabbed a twig near her seat and flung it at him. He dodged easily, and her scowl deepened.

But then, suddenly, it was gone. Instead of looking murderous, she was looking exhausted. Her hand came up to her forehead, and she groaned, closing her eyes.

"Alright, fine," she muttered, not opening her eyes. "You win. You always win." She paused, sniffling once more. "You were right, and now I feel like crap." Her lower lip trembled.

Moments later, a warm weight fell about her shoulders, and a non-too-gentle hand was yanking her feet out from under her. She opened her eyes to the sight of an irked looking Sasuke pulling the long, woolen socks she had discarded last night onto her feet and the dark blue of Sasuke's sleeping bag all around her.

"Oh…" Sakura sneezed hugely. "Sasuke-kun…"

He stood and rolled his eyes.

"You're annoying."

Sakura's eyes went to the ground in shame.

… Until Sasuke turned around. Then she snuggled deeper into her newly acquired warmth – and smirked.

**[AN: I'm going to be lame. I want reviews. Badly. So, please? Because my hit to review ratio is pretty much horrendous. So, you should help me out 8)**


	4. whisperwhisper

--

--

To be an Uchiha is many things.

It is to be powerful. It is to be beautiful. It is to be just a tad deranged. Mostly, it is to be a perfect, flawless, _radiant _example of human distinction.

(It is also synonymous to being a Sasuke, but –due to circumstances -that is not talked about.)

Uchihas never, ever, _ever_ flush red, mumble, and look like a deer in the headlights just waiting for the final impact. Poor Sasuke. Letting down the family like that…

--

--

_I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth._

_-Chico Marx_

--

**Mockery #4 - Fish Face**

--

--

Really, the day had been going pretty well.

It had started with Sasuke going to train. Somewhere along the way, Sakura had joined him. It was ending with him somehow, someway kissing the living daylights out of his pink-haired teammate.

(He was a bit foggy on the details of _just how_ that had come to be; but, honestly, it was kinda hard to care when she was_ there,_ right there, in his arms, and her lips were there, _right there_, on his and -)

So, yeah, the day had been goin well.

Most, most, unfortunately, it had all gone to Hell in a hand basket in a blur of orange.

Sakura had been kissing him (_kissing him, kissing him, kissing, kissing, kissing)_ and he had been kissing her, and they were both more than a little preoccupied. So when all of a sudden there was a loud, strangled shout right behind them they both jumped about a foot in the air. Heads collided with a noise like coconuts smashing, curses flowed like crazy, and fingers tightened around kunai.

Sasuke turned, eyes wheeling red commas in rage, to see who dared interrupt…

Naruto stood, mouth agape, finger pointing at his two friends. Sasuke felt his heart plummet as the blonde opened and closed his mouth a few times. Finally, he managed,

"Sa- Sa- Sa-"

Behind Sasuke, Sakura giggled. Turning to the sound, Sasuke felt his cheeks, already hotter and redder than Sasuke could ever recall, heat another degree. She was flushed too, the color high on her cheeks, matching the short strands that fell about her face and obscured her happy, shocked, _green_ green eyes. Mostly, though, Sasuke stared at her lips. Red, swollen, thoroughly kissable, ready and waiting…

"OH MY KAMI-SAMA!" Naruto screamed suddenly. Sasuke looked back at his best friend, willing the boy to just _shut up and leave._

"YOU!" There was no chance he would talk in a normal voice, was there? "YOU GUYS? YOU – You – Really?" 

Naruto was looking at Sasuke, eyes still saucers, waiting for the answer. Sasuke was trying not to let this utter and complete and total embarrassment that was swallowing him show on his face.

"I- uh – I –" And, just like that, Uchiha Sasuke stuttered. Far below, a layer of ice slid over Hell.

Naruto looked on in shock.

Finally, after taking a few deep breaths, after willing himself into control, after thinking as quickly as he could for a reasonable, logical, sensible solution, Sasuke spoke again.

"Please, dobe, shut your mouth. You're drooling and look even more idiotic than usual. And, if you don't mind, I need to continue debriefing Sakura on our next mission." Sasuke paused. And smirked.

"Um. What?" Naruto looked confused. Sasuke sighed theatrically, praying to any available god that this would work.

"I was telling her the mission details. I was whispering them. In her mouth."

It was bad enough for poor Sasuke when Naruto hit the ground, laughing so hard tears poured from his eyes as he rolled around in the dirt. But it was worse when he turned around.

Because Sakura was doubled over, arms wrapped around her stomach, laughing her head off.

_And it had been such a nice day…_

--

--

--

AN: So, not worth the wait. I know. But, no matter, yeah? You'll still review? And, look, I really do take the quotes you give me and go to town. That means if you give me one, I'll write it. So. Review?

Oh, and, almost forgot, shout out to the lovely _JustMeAndADream_ for the awesome quote. And, really, I'll get to the (ton) of other suggestions she left… :D


	5. you got burned

**AN:** So, dear readers, in the spirit of Mister Saint Valentine, here be another chapter. I actually quite like this one, because it goes back to the mockery of serious quotes – Ones that, you know, have some deep-set emotional meaning I choose to besmirch with disgusting enthusiasm. Heh. Quote was suggested by the fantabulous _Cheery Lollipop and Skittles._ Thanks!

-

-

_NO! _screamed Inner One. _Don't you DARE! We _will_ do this, understand?_

_Bu- Bu – But…_ protested Inner Two, obviously distraught at the turn of events. _But, I thought this is what we wanted…_

_OF COURSE IT IS. BUT HE IS TRYING TO DECIEVE US, FOOL. WE WILL BREAK HIM DOWN FIRST._

_He's already pretty broken…_

_So is our heart. He'll get over it._ Inner One stood firm, metaphorically grinning sadistically.

Inner Two continued to have a moral crisis.

-

-

_"It is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all"_

_-Samuel Butler_

_-_

**Mockery #5 – Apocalyptic**

-

-

He looks at her. She looks at him.

There is silence.

Finally, after a good fifteen seconds of nothing, she speaks.

"W-What?"

Sasuke winces, though the action is so small and unpronounced she doesn't even seem to notice. "I asked if you wanted to go get dinner."

Sakura's eyes widen, and she looks around as if expecting to find some explanation for this udder collapse of all things sane and normal. Her green eyes find nothing but the normal sight of the training grounds, so she turns them back to her teammate. In confusion, her eyebrows draw together and her mouth hangs slightly slack.

"Seriously?" she questions.

Maybe he waited too long before answering, maybe there was something in the tone of his voice, or maybe Sakura just remembered a vital piece of information. No matter what the case, her eyes suddenly narrow with understanding.

"Yes," says Sasuke. But Sakura is ready.

"Well then," her voice is light and airy, completely opposite what it had been mere seconds ago. This confuses Sasuke slightly, but not nearly as much as her next statement. "I suppose I'll have to say no, Sasuke."

Now it is Sasuke's turn to gape. And gape he does. "What?"

"I said no, Sasuke."

He is gone is a flash of darkness, leaving behind a once-again confused Sakura.

She thinks for a second, then brings her hand to her head with a resounding smack.

"Oh no…" she groans in horror. "The _idiot."_

-

"Naruto!" Sakura screams, running up to her blond teammate. "Have you seen Sasuke?"

"Yeah," says Naruto, confused by Sakura's frantic behavior. "He was buying tomatoes over – "

But Sakura is already peeling off in the direction Naruto's hand had indicated.

-

When your entire family is murdered in cold blood by your older, beloved brother, you get pretty good at throwing pity-parties.

When you are forced (by yourself, but whatever) to join the ranks of a child-molesting snake freak in order to kill said older, once-beloved brother, you get even better at these anti-celebrations of life.

When your only chance at ever recovering some small shred of happiness in your miserable world rejects you after you'd spent _days_ building up the courage to ask her to dinner – well – it's not that hard to throw an out-and-out pity _ball._

So Sasuke, armed with tomatoes and enough kunai to… do a lot of stuff with, headed off to a more remote training ground.

It was party time.

-

Perhaps an hour later he collapsed on the grassy floor of the clearing. Around him, trees positively covered in kunai smoked slightly from the combined effects of fire and lightning. Sasuke observed them through empty eyes.

Still spread eagle on the ground, he reached out and grabbed a tomato. Bringing it to his mouth, he took a bite and chewed morosely.

_Really,_ he thought in a completely depressed tone. _You deserve this._

True enough. He probably did.

_Yeah. If you had tried this, oh, five years ago, maybe you'd have had a chance._

_But, _a second voice defended him from, well, himself - _but, she said she'd love me for _forever.

_She lied, _replied voice number one casually. _Woman do that frequently. You should have known that._

_Yeah._ _But she did love me back then, right? That's got to count for something. _

_Nope. Doesn't count for anything. _

Poor Sasuke sighed. Then he grabbed another tomato. Screw the voice (number one) in his head. It _did_ count for something.

-

Sakura knows Sasuke is nearby because she can smell the electricity. Then she sees the smoke. She increases her speed.

He is still lying on the forest floor when she finally finds him. At her approach, he looks up. Then, with a sigh, he slumps back to the ground.

"Finally," Sakura gasps, hands on her knees, "I've been looking all over for you."

She walks right to his side. He doesn't move. With one hand, she reaches down and yanks him to his feet. Inside, she laughs. His eyes are wide and shocked – this super strength still creeps him out.

With him finally looking (down) at her, she says, "You know what day it is, Sasuke-kun?"

His black eyes narrow in suspicion. Then he shrugs.

Sakura smiles back at him. "It's April first. April Fools Day." Her eyebrows raise meaningfully.

It only takes Sasuke a millisecond to understand her meaning. It takes him one more to decide his revenge. He's not an avenger for nothing.

He looks down at his (adorable, beautiful, _cute_) pink-haired foe and smirks.

"Of course I knew that. Why else would I ask –"

He never did get to finish his sentence. But when he woke up in the hospital the next day – with Sakura standing over him menacingly – he did get to take it back.


	6. and then, love hits you

**AN:** And here it is! Chapter six. The quote is, once again, coming from _**Cherry**_ (not ch**eer**y) _**Lollipop and Skittles**_.

Oh. And this is (obviously) **AU**. Because it popped into my head that way. And it was fun. So there.

_-_

_-_

_-_

In this world, there is such a thing as omens.

You know them; we all do.

For instance: A black cat running across the road mere moments before you fishtail into a tree. That's not good. And breaking a mirror and immediately realizing, oh dang, I just broke a mirror with my face. That pretty much sucks.

But, no fear, True Love has it's signs too. They're pretty popular. We all know that if fireworks go off in the background when you first kiss someone, they are The One. For sure. Same thing could be said about The Bells.

They even have a song, don't they?

_-_

_-_

_"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked."_

-Erich Segal

-

**Mockery #6 –I Can Hear the Bells**

(or the faint buzzing of at _least_ one thousand mosquitoes)

_-_

When one is late to class, it is quite natural to increase the speed at which one is moving. This is normal and generally good where teachers and grades are concerned.

However, it is important to remember that blindly rushing through a crowded university parking lot might not be the smartest or safest course of action.

Most unfortunately, this had slipped the mind of Sakura Haruno, leaving her to simply streak behind row after row of cars in the hopes of reaching her OChem lecture before the uptight, fussy professor.

All she noticed about the car was that it was a clean and glossy black. That and the fact that it was about to hit her. Backing out of its parking space, the sleek little hybrid's rear bumper was coming _right at her._ She knew it, but there was nothing to do but give a God-awful screech and throw out her arms in an (useless) attempt to shield herself.

Later, Sakura recalled nothing of the actual impact. Just that one second she was sprinting to class and the next she was flying though the air and hitting the black asphalt with the crack of skull on concrete. What she did remember was the pain of a few moments later, as she came back into the conscious realm.

Her head hurt the most, though she felt the sting of scraped flesh on her elbows and lower back. And something was wrapped around her arms. Then that same something was dragging her up into a half-sitting position, shaking her like a rag doll.

"Shit!" Apparently the thing was a person. A male. A very peeved male.

Groggily, Sakura opened her eyes.

The person looking down at her was indeed a boy. A very, very, _very_ good looking boy. He had spiky black hair and a pretty, almost girly face. His black eyes were wild with worry. When he saw she was awake, he gave her another frantic shake.

"Are you ok?" he demanded. "Is anything wrong?"

Sakura just gave a loopy smile and shook her head. There was a ringing in her ears and she suddenly had extremely high hopes for this stranger that had almost killed her. "I can hear the bells."

She just barely caught a glimpse of his puzzled expression before her eyes rolled back into her head.

-

Not an hour later, Sakura woke up in an uncomfortable white hospital bed. She sat up. Only to have a hand shove her back into the hard mattress.

"Sit," commanded the pretty almost-killer.

She gaped at him. "You ran me over!"

"No. I only barely bumped you."

Sakura growled. "I won't get to class now!"

"I'm sure your professor will understand."

"Actually, I doubt her will – uh – what's your name?"

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"Sakura Haruno."

"I know. I had to dig out your ID."

"Well, sorry for the inconvenience. But, remember, you ran _me_ over."

"Hn."

There was a pause.

"So are you going to apologize?"

-

Later, much later, he did.

It took Sakura following him around school a few weeks before he cracked. Her constant reminders of his so called almost-murder were extremely annoying, as was her nonstop attempts at friendship.

When, finally, he couldn't stand it anymore and just kissed her before mumbling out a hurried, "Sorry," he was pretty shocked. He hadn't expected it to come to this. Not that he wasn't pleased…

Sakura, of course, new it was inevitable.

After all, she had heard The Bells the moment she first laid eyes on him.

-

-

-

**AN:** So the next one will (probably) be for _**JustMeAndADream**_, because she has a whole bunch of quotes and as soon as inspiration strikes I will write her another chapter.

And, because I can, here's the pimping:

You should go look at some of my one-shots. Or review this story. Or – oh my – review, go read another of my stories and review _that too._ Seriously. How much fun would that be?

Or don't. But I would appreciate it!

8D


	7. in her hands

**AN:** For _**JustMeAndADream**_. Thanks!

(And I would like to point out that I TOTALLY UPDATED UBER FAST. Because, when fueled by such lurvely reviews, I rock like that 8)

-

-

-

There are many, many different skills all ninja must master before they can be of any use to the society they live in.

They must learn to strengthen their bodies into weapons of destruction. They must learn the control needed to wield such power. Comradary, loyalty, determination – all traits highly prized among the elite shinobi.

But, of course, there is a darker side.

Sometimes, brute force and sheer will power will do no good. Sometimes, deceit is the quickest, surest way. Lying takes skill. But manipulation is an _art_.

Sasuke never did give Sakura enough credit.

-

-

_"The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree while holding hands."_

-Alexandra Penney

-

**Mockery #7 – Hell Hath No Fury…**

_like a woman who knows His weakness_

-

-

It should have been simple. He was used to rejecting her. He'd been doing it for _years_: Ever since he was twelve years old. All he had to do was turn to her, quirk one eyebrow in such a way as to question her sanity, infuse the exact amount of distain into his voice (so as to not offend her to the point of violence), and say _no._

That's all. One word. One syllable, even. How many times had he told her the exact same thing? Countless times, surely.

But, this time, there was a new variable.

Today, as Sakura and Sasuke had walked back from lunch with Naruto at the ramen shop, she had told him about a get-together (_party_) Ino was apparently throwing later that evening. Smiling up at him with excited green eyes, she rambled about how most everyone would be there (missions had been slow) and how excited she was.

He knew what was coming. Sasuke wasn't a genius for nothing.

He had been completely ready for the question; ready to shoot down any hopes his girlfriend might have of him suddenly becoming social. Sure, he wasn't looking forward to the crestfallen expression she would surely don, but she'd have more fun without him anyway.

See? All planned out.

Then she grabbed his hand.

And, still talking, threaded her smaller, thinner fingers between his own. Her thumb was running up and down the side of his pointer finger, and he swore he could feel the whorls of her fingerprint against his skin. It was really quite distracting and he could feel his mind slowly fogging as her voice lost distinction and became a faint hum to his ears.

She was tapping the pads of her fingers against his knuckles. His fingers twitched, just a little, as the joints were pressured. Sasuke was quite immersed in trying to decipher the tune she strummed.

All in all, he was thoroughly enjoying this. Sure, he held her hand somewhat regularly, but… He went _years_ without any contact that wasn't meant to injure. It was understandable a gentle touch could make him forget the world around him.

Right?

When Sakura suddenly stopped walking and turned to him, Sasuke almost stumbled. He recovered quickly though, and faced her in return.

Her delicate eyebrows were raised, her eyes expectant.

"So, Sasuke-kun?"

As she spoke, her fingers strummed over his knuckles once more.

"Aa," was his safe, monosyllabic reply. Inwardly, he cursed himself for zoning out like that.

Sakura's smile cheered him up a bit. As did the quick kiss she planted on his cheek.

"Thanks Sasuke-kun! I'll come get you after I get ready, ok?" Her fingers slipped from between his own, and he had to fight the urge to reach out for them. "Ja Ne!"

As she slipped into her house, it hit Sasuke. Shoving his hands into his pockets and inwardly swearing to keep them there forever, he started home, bemoaning the loss of his quiet evening.

In the house, rummaging through her closet, Sakura smirked in an extremely proud sort of way.


	8. like, what the heck?

Fate? Yeah, it'll screw with you.

Ditto for irony.

And don't even get me started on the general _freakishness_ of people. They, more than anything, will mess up your head.

Because life is one jacked up ride.

-

-

_"If you can list all the reasons why you love someone, then it isn't love. Love is undefinable and appears in the most unpredictable of situations."_

-shina desu

(who also is the amazing person that gave me this quote and told me to write :)

-

**Mockery# 8 – Be Careful What You Ask For**

-

-

Sakura watched the man approach her through narrowed green eyes. As he came closer – his gait slow, easy, _mocking_ – she shifted her weight into a fighter's stance and reached to wrap thin fingers around the familiar metal of her kunai. In her chest, her heart raced.

He was only a few yards in front of her when he stopped. He just stood there, head cocked slightly, eyebrows raised above curious pools of black. She stared back, every muscle in her body taunt and ready, willing herself not to shake or give any sign of all these emotions racing through her. _Be strong,_ she willed herself. _Don't be scared. Don't be weak. Don't be foolish. _Don't _be annoying._

"What are you doing here Uchiha?" She spat his name with a grimace, hoping he couldn't tell it was only because of how unfamiliar the surname tasted on her lips.

He frowned at her then, lips quirking down just a tad as he straightened up, seemingly displeased with her reaction. Then his shoulders raised, ever so slightly, before falling back. "I'm not sure, Sakura."

Her grip on the kunai had become painfully tight, but she squeezed harder nonetheless. "What do you want?" she demanded, voice low from forcing the quaver out. "_Why are you here?_"

His frown deepened and Sasuke looked at her again with that curious stare. Sakura wondered what he was thinking before reminding herself she didn't care. He was silent for a long moment and Sakura wished he would do or say something because this waiting was completely messing with her blood pressure.

"I love you."

-

When someone that you love says they love you, it's generally a good thing.

Of course, said person doesn't usually say those Three Little Words after abandoning you on a bench and trying to kill you a few times between then and now. Plus, they usually say it like they're – I dunno – happy? Not as though they almost want to kill you?

Poor Sakura.

Poor Sasuke.

-

For a second, she did nothing. She looked at his cold, glaring, wonderful, beautiful, pissed off face and blinked. Once. Twice. Her mouth fell open in a gape. Her kunai thudded in the dust.

Her fist connected with his (perfect) nose.

"BASTARD!" Another punch to the cheek. "FREAK!" A rib cracked. "SATANIC, FRATERCIDAL, COWARDLY, SATANIC, **BASTARD**!"

She stood over his limp body, chest heaving. He looked up at her through eyes that were slowly disappearing behind swollen purple flesh. They were both scowling.

"Why would you say that?" Sakura demanded, swiping an angry hand across her eyes and delivering a (gentle) kick to Sasuke's side.

"Because it's the truth," he growled from the ground.

"Liar," she hissed, kicking a bit harder and smirking when he winced and grabbed at his side. "You don't love me. You hate me."

"Why'd I let you beat me up then? Stupid girl."

Kick.

Muffled shout and burning glare.

Muffled gasp and colliding lips.

Mumbled, "Works for me."

-

-

**AN:** Um. Yeah.

I don't like that. Not very much. (Even though the lovely **shina desu** did provide a wonderful quote!) And it took me forever to update. And I really suck at this whole good-authoress thingy.

…

I'm sorry! Don't hate me! LOVE ME!


	9. ow, ow

He knows what's going to happen before it does.

With eyes the wheel and flash red, he can look at an enemy – can look at _anyone_ – and see. Before their body even shifts, he is ready to counter whatever attack they _will_ throw. Every time.

But there is a catch: He has to be looking at them.

And not at Sakura, who is ridiculously, annoying, and now _painfully_ easy to watch when she fights. Especially when, as she weaves around her opponents, her shirt gets all twisted up and her shorts –

So he didn't see that kunai. Or the next one. Not even the third.

Really, it was almost embarrassing.

-

-

_Love is both a pain and a painkiller_

- Anonymous

(from **asian-cinderella238**)

-

**Mockery #9 – Consequently**

-

"You're _sure_ that's what happened?" Sakura raised her eyebrows high, twisting her mouth in skepticism. Sasuke scowled back, forcing any blood rushing to his cheeks away with pure will power.

"Yes."

"You know," Sakura said, shifting her weight to one hip as she stood over the groaning body of the man she had just decked, "I _really_ don't think that he" – she toed the man, whose groans increased in volume – "is capable of such an attack."

Sasuke glowered. "He was going to. That's why I was watching."

"So you just wanted to make sure I got him before he got me?"

"Aa."

"And that's why you were completely ignoring _your own fight_ and concentrating solely on mine, resulting in not one, not two, but _three_ kunai shoved through your body?"

It was annoying really, how insolent her tone had gotten, how blatantly skeptical she was. The Sakura of years past would not be questioning him, especially not with that little smirk on her face – The old Sakura would be frantically mopping him up and crying tears of joy because _Sasuke-kun _ had been watching out for her.

…. Old Sakura would not have quite so wide hips to rest her hands on as she looked at him with an expression that said, _I know you're lying._

The time had come for distraction, so Sasuke gestured at himself with one arm, wincing before he could stop himself. "Are you going to heal me?"

Then, finally, concern shone in Sakura's eyes. Nodding quickly, she stepped foreword, already stripping her fingerless gloves. "Yeah. Of course I will. Let's just sit down, ok?"

So they did, and Sakura carefully pulled each kunai from a Sasuke that hissed in pain and cursed under his breath. As her hands began to glow, Sakura looked at Sasuke.

"I can take care of myself, you know. Don't get hurt trying to protect me."

Sasuke closed his eyes, leaned his head back. "I'll always protect you."

He could hear the smile in her voice. "Aa. I know."

Then her hands – at once cool, warm, hard, and soft – touched his skin. And Sasuke decided that this wasn't so bad after all.

… Besides, he could _totally _feel Sakura's chest against his as she leaned over him.

* * *

**AN:** Because I couldn't resist.

On another note, this is _probably_ gonna be the next to last chapter. You see, now that school is over, I start my summer. My summer composed of summer school _and_ fifty hours of work a week. So if I'm a bad updater now, just imagine what I could be! That would be baaad. So I'm ending it.

Plus side! I'll have the possibly-last chapter out within the week. Really, I will!


	10. not tonight, love

_An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex_

Edgar Wallace

(from **Roses of Sharon**)

-

-

She held up one single, long fingered hand. "Wait." Her gaze never strayed from the thick, impossibly complicated symbols she read at a pace that was actually somewhat alarming.

With a growl that would have been considered playful had he been anyone else, Sasuke crawled closer to where she sat, propped on pillows, in their bed. As he leaned over to place his mouth to her neck, her splayed fingers pressed against his chest. "Sasuke. _Wait._"

She still hadn't looked up from her reading.

For a second, Sasuke felt an almost uncontrollable urge to pout. Then he remembered who he was, and returned to trying to kiss his wife – pointedly ignoring the hand pushing him back. A foot came in contact with his chest, replacing said hand and holding him away.

Sakura – _finally_ – looked up, a scowl on her face.

"Sasuke. I said not now. I'm _reading._ Just…. Just not tonight. Ok?"

He glared at her through coal eyes obscured by ebony locks, trying his very, very hardest to make his eyes – as she said – 'smolder.' She smiled and pushed his bangs from his face, ruffling his hair in the most undignified sort of way. It occurred to him that the time had come for full on sulking, and he considered simply collapsing on top of her. But then it occurred to him that her foot – still pressed to his chest – could easily send him flying into the opposite wall and that Sakura – sweet and kind as she may be – would not refrain from doing so.

"You _said,_" he reminded her, narrowing his eyes. "You said _last night_ – even though you _promised_ the night before that, and –"

Sakura was looking at him as though he was telling her that puppies and butterflies had gone extinct. A voice in the back of his mind hissed, _What, I am _that_ bad? _But the larger, dominant, thought was one of reluctant pity and complete resignation. Really, it was just too hard to resist those sparkling eyes and pouting lips – even if those same lips wouldn't so much as kiss him.

"Fine."

He pulled back, away from her foot. This time, she followed him, setting her book down and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Thanks, Sasuke-kun."

Hungrily, he kissed her back. His arms found her waste and he tried – in desperate, jerky motions – to drag her onto him. But then, suddenly, she was pulling back, unwinding his arms from around her, reaching for the book once more, and Sasuke just wanted her to come back, to him, so he said, "Please?"

His voice came out like a beg for life.

She sat back against her pillows and settled into read and smiled. "This is a really amazing book. Even if it is impossibly long…"

He slumped down into the sheets, turning his back to her. Behind him, Sakura said – in a mockingly cheery voice – "Goodnight. I love you."

Even worse was his spineless reply:

"I love you too."

* * *

**AN:** And so it ends.

Thank you _so_ much to everyone who has read or reviewed this story – you guys make my day! And to those of you that didn't get a drabble on your quote… I'm sorry! If I ever get the time or inspiration, I'll see what I can do, ok?

Peace and love.


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